My life is changing, and change can be a scary thing. I’ve worked as a school nurse for the last five years and have enjoyed every minute of it, but since I wrote my book, I feel like maybe nursing is no longer my purpose in life. I have spent this school year unhappy and anxious, torn between my desire to write and my need to have a steady income. Since the summer, my husband and I have prayed about the path I should take. In my heart I was ready to step out in faith and trust God, knowing the road would be tough but the journey would be worth it. My husband- not so much. He had doubts, and who wouldn’t blame him. We have four boys between us, with one going off to college next year. That’s enough to make anyone worry. We continued to pray as the days got harder for me to go to work with a smile on my face. I missed writing full time. I felt like my true calling from God was at my fingertips, but I just couldn’t reach it.
I never went to sleep Sunday night. When the alarm went off at five-thirty Monday morning, I knew I was in for a long day. I prayed and read my Bible like usual but couldn’t shake the restless feeling. Peace continued to elude me. I downed three cups of coffee then drove to work in a daze. I sent my husband a text telling him I didn’t know what to do. His reply- give my notice. I almost dropped my phone. Was he really okay with that? He was the one holding out, saying no all this time. My husband said when he got that text from me, he gave all his fear and worry to the Lord. He finally took his own step of faith.
I gave my notice, but as I walked down the hallway that afternoon and heard the kids saying, “Hi, Nurse Robin,” I felt a little unsure. Was this regret? Did I do the right thing or had my lack of sleep made my decision for me?
As the night progressed, I grew even more restless and anxious. I began to worry about my book not being good enough. At 9:30pm when I picked up my Kindle and began to compare my book to those of six others, my husband had enough. He turned to me and said, “Robin, close your eyes and go to sleep.” I put my Kindle away, promptly fell into a deep sleep, and had a dream- a very vivid, detailed dream.
I woke up before the alarm this morning with tears in my eyes and praise for the Lord on my lips. I quickly wrote down the story that was my dream. There was a man named David in my dream, so I chose to use this as my main character’s name. I woke my husband up and shared the wonderful news with him. He responded as happily as he could at 5am. I felt renewed and at peace for the first time since I went back to work.
I picked up my Bible and went on with my quiet time. Want to guess what my reading was about this morning? It was David. I made a mental note of this and continued on in the Word. I then read my devotional for the day. Want to try to guess whose name was mentioned? If you said David, then you’re right! At this point, with tears streaming down my face, I no longer doubted the decision to leave my nursing job to follow my calling as a writer. How much more did the Lord have to show me before I got it? Well, apparently He wasn’t done just yet.
The verse in that devotional was Psalms 46:1 “God is our refuge and strength, a helper who is always found in times of trouble.” I like that verse. God knew I felt troubled and when I called out to Him, He answered. I continued to read, stopping when I got to verse 5- “God is within her; she will not be toppled. God will help her when the morning dawns.”
I knew in my heart this verse was for me, and I was in awe, but He STILL wasn’t done.
I called my mom to tell her about my morning with God. When I read her Psalms 46:5, she began to cry. I thought she was just happy for me but that wasn’t it. She told me that was the verse God gave her after I told her I was pregnant my senior year of high school.
Amazing! God’s mercy and grace has come full circle, 17 years later, to fulfill a promise to my mother and to me. My morning has dawned, and I will not be toppled.
Today, I pray that God will give you the courage to face the morning that has dawned for you. You are a daughter of The King, pick up your crown and wear it proudly, because you will not be toppled.
Many blessings to you,
PS- Yesterday I told my mom and husband that my goal was to write four books a year. My dream last night- makes book idea number four.